My Heart's Desire this Christmas

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Our family enjoyed an un-stressful, un-eventful Christmas today and for that I am thankful.  I truly mean that.  No presents had to be pre or post assembled.  No worries about not having the right size batteries.  Thanks to a generous gift certificate to Honey Baked Ham, I hardly had to do any cooking. 

Our day starts with the usual Christmas traditions I grew up with.  Once everyone is awake, and surprisingly teen age boys can wake up early at least once a year, we pass out the stockings.  Just enough of a Christmas treat to keep everyone occupied until we finish breakfast.  We gather on the couch and read the Christmas story together and pause to remember why we celebrate this day.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David,

a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." 

Then the presents! We try to prolong the day as much a possible by only allowing one person to open a gift at a time and everyone watches and ooohs and ahhs over their new treasure.  Today was no different.  As the wrapping was ripped off and the surprised faces were caught on camera and posted to social media we laughed and enjoyed the splendor of the morning. 

Today, though, my heart didn't swell with the usual fulfilled feeling that Christmas brings.  Instead, I found my thoughts drifting to a face I have never seen and a place I have never been.  I  found myself wondering if the little girl God has chosen for us had presents to unwrap or a camera anxiously awaiting to capture her precious smile. Was their a hot meal to warm her little belly? Did anyone tell her the true meaning of Christmas?  Did anyone hear her hearts desire for a family to love her forever?  
Among the hardest parts of being a "waiting" adoptive mother is that you do not have a due date to look forward to! We continually are asked by friends and family if there any updates or new news and we repeatedly smile and say "We're waiting".  My heart aches every time I say those words. 

Praying for our little girl that this is her last Christmas to be with out her forever family.  Praying, believing God to bring her home in 2014. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I Sure Could Use a Little Good News Today

Without much news to share, we haven't been diligent at updating our blog.  After 19 months of "being in the process" all we can say with certainty is that we are waiting.   Waiting on a foreign government to put the needs of orphaned boys and girls as a priority and work quickly to match them with forever families......families who are waiting with anxious and longing hearts to see their faces and hold them in their arms. 
We've been told that the matching process could take up to 2 years and we have officially only been in the Bulgarian system for 9 months.  Our wait could still be a while longer. 


God has been faithful to us in the waiting.  We have been able to build a house that allows her and our boys to have a room of there own. Her room is almost ready and is just missing the little girl who will call it home. 

 

 

While we continue to wait on God's timing, we've been able to see how the process is molding our family, both immediate and extended, into the family who will love her as our own.  I am confident that when the wait is over, it will have been worth every month, day, hour spent longing for a little girl whose face we have yet to see. 

 

To those using our Amazon and Just Love Coffee links - Thank you! To those who pray for our family - Thank You!    We are grateful for your support. 

 



I Go to Prepare a Place for You...............

"Let not your heart be troubled, Believe in God, believe also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that  I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself that where I am you may be also." - John 14:1-3 (NSV)

This verse has been on my mind a lot lately.  Until recently I didn't fully understand how much the scenario described in this passage was replicated in our adoption.  You see, Jesus is our adoptive Father if we have trusted in him. He has chosen us to be called His sons and daughters. He is busy preparing a forever-home for us in Heaven while he waits until an appointed time to bring us home. He has made a promise that He WILL come again.  I wonder how anxious He is to be able to sound the trumpets and call his children home. 
I don't want to diminish the fact that our heavenly home will be so much greater than anything we could possibly imagine here on earth.  I do, however, see similarities on our journey through adoption. Through God, we have chosen to bring a little girl into our family.  We are anxiously awaiting the day when we can bring our daughter home to her forever-family.  While we wait, we too, are preparing a home for her.  God has opened many doors that have allowed us to give her a home we wouldn't even allow ourselves to dream about.  We are making a promise that, YES, we are coming for her - we just don't know yet when that day will be.  We do know that it will be glorious!

Now for the specifics on the process.  We have changed our age range with our agency.  Originally we stated we would like a little girl between 3-5 yrs old. However, because the process is so much longer than imagined and our boys are getting older too, we opened our age range to 8 yrs old.  With that, we should be able to get a match much quicker. Children over the age of 6 or 7 are considered "older" children and can adopted more easily than those who are younger.   The Bulgarian government, along with most of Europe, shuts down for vacation in August.  Nothing official happens during that time. Then, of course, they need time to "catch-up" once they come back in September.  So basically, we are on a definite hold until the fall.    Frustrating, yes, but God is keeping us busy with the "preparing a place for you" phase of the process.

We are continually amazed at how God is working through this process.

What can you do, you ask? 

Pray - Waiting is difficult.  Pray for the little girl who will one day be introduced to this crazy family.

Remember to use our Amazon and Just Love Coffee links when you make purchases through those websites. We earn a percentage of each purchase toward our adoption expenses.  Every item purchased helps, no matter the cost.  Our percentage increases based upon the items purchased, not the dollar amount.   

O*B*E*D*I*E*N*C*E is the very best way..........

Does anyone else remember this old Sunday school song.....

 

"Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe. Doing exactly what the Lord commands, doing it happily. Action is the key. Do it immediately. Joy you will receive. Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe....and you spell it O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E....Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe."

First time obedience is a concept we've tried to instill in our boys since they were old enough to walk. While we haven't always been successful, we understand that repeating this to them over and over again will eventually pay off.

What we didn't expect was for this lesson to be one we would be living out in front of them.  When God asked us to adopt, we struggled over it.  The head honcho was on board first, and reluctantly I agreed. More so, because I felt it necessary to be obedient to my husband's leadership than God's desires.

From the time we said "yes", God has shown up and rewarded our willingness to be obedient to what he has asked.  He has met our needs, for the adoption, and elsewhere, in ways we could have never imagined.

Recently, we've been overwhelmed by His goodness to our family. First a new job that allows the head honcho not only better pay, but also much more time with the family.  A second car was necessary for the job transition.   As God often does, He provided exactly what we needed at a price we couldn't turn down. Then, "a check in the mail" from a class-action law suit that we didn't even know we were associate with until a few weeks ago.  These are just the BIG ways. There have been so many little details where we have seen Him working in also.  

I don't write this to brag about my family. We are not the story here. I write to give God the glory for His goodness to me. Only because of His perfect love for me and His shed blood on the cross am I able to know Him intimately. It is through that relationship that He spoke to my heart about adoption. The very first step in spiritual obedience is to accept his invitation for salvation.


 But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” Luke 11:28
If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land. Isaiah 1:19

 

Is there something God is asking you to do?
Something difficult or tiring?
Something that will take you out of your comfort zone? 
Will you be OBEDIENT and say "YES"?

HOPE

Hope

noun A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. "Hope" is seen 130 times in the King James Version of the Bible Job 11:18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; Ps 33:18 Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy; Ps 33:22 Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee. Ps 38:15 For in thee, O LORD, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God. Ps 39:7 And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee La 3:26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD Ac 2:26 Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope: Ro 8:25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it Why all the fascination with HOPE?  Yesterday, we recieved a letter in the mail that we had been awarded a grant from Show Hope, an organization that raises and distributes money to families who are adopting.  We had applied for this grant back in December of 2012 and quite honestly, had forgotten.  Atleast it wasn't on our immediate radar.  We are overwhelmed with joy and gratitude at the many ways God chooses to bless this adoption and remind us that when He calls us to something, He WILL provide a way for it to be accomplished.  As I have thought about it today, it brought me to wonder about HOPE.  What is HOPE?  What does the Bible say about HOPE? Clearly, God's word has much to say about HOPE.  HOPE misplaced can lead to failure.  HOPE correctly placed in God will lead to blessing. Our HOPE is that God will use our family to bring HOPE to one little girl.  Our HOPE is that God will use our faithfulness to His calling in our lives to cause others to be open what God has for them.  Our HOPE is to see every boy or girl without a forever family placed in loving home.  Our HOPE is to be able to be a blessing to other adoptive families and help them on their journey.  Our HOPE is that God would be glorified in all that we say and do.  Because of Christ, we HOPE.

When THANK YOU Doesn't Seem To Be Enough

After several months of chasing paperwork, we've had a chance to catch our breath and review what the last several months have required of us, emotionally, financially and spiritually. 

Emotionally, it's been a roller coaster of ups and downs.  Overwhelming excitement prevailed at times, when we didn't think we could wait another day to finally see the face of the daughter we would call our own.  At times, we just felt like robots, only going through the motions of what was asked of us.  Then there were times where we were fearful and stressed. Could we really do this?

While reviewing the financial side, I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I realized how much we've been blessed by YOU, our friends and family.  Since beginning this process in April of 2012, we've paid out $12, 940 in adoption related expenses.  If you looked at our personal bank account, you would immediately notice, that we didn't have anywhere near that amount of money "saved" for this adventure.  In fact, when we submitted to what we felt God was asking of us, we didn't have any savings set aside, ear-marked, specifically for this adoption. 

So, how did we manage to be able to pay nearly thirteen-thousand dollars, in the last 9 months.  Well, I was wondering that too.  We've done an adequate job of keeping records of receipts and expenses and this is what we noticed:

DONATIONS: To date, we have received almost $3000 in cash donations from friends and family. Time after time, we found a check in the mailbox or someone would hand us an envelope in passing. We've saved every note or letter and intend to make them part of her Lifebook.

 

James 2:14-17  "What good is it my brothers if someone says he has faith, but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food and one of you says to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled, without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself without works, is dead."

    

FUNDRAISERS: Thanks to the help of friends and families, $1000 has been raised so far. This has been done through a garage sale, our ongoing Just Love Coffee and Amazon links and a Tupperware sale.

 

PERSONAL SAVINGS:  As I said before, we did not have a savings account set aside with hundreds or thousands of dollars. God has shown up time after time, just in time, to provide exactly we've needed. Some of this came from income tax returns, some from a company stock owed to us from a previous employer, some even came from an overpayment to a chiropractor from two years ago.  God continues to work in ways beyond our comprehension.

 

Phillipians 4:19-20 "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen."

 



We continue to be shaped spiritually by the testing of our faith and trust in a God who is more than deserving of all our worship and praise. 

For now, all of our expenses are paid!  We are now saving for the next big fee - our international agency fee, which will be due when we accept a referral.  We have two grant applications waiting to be approved.  One of those applications is scheduled to be reviewed in March, the other in April.  We are trusting God that He will provide through those as He desires. 

Thank you for being a important part in changing the life of one little girl, half a world way.  Because of your love for our family, she will one day know the love of a Forever family! 

Thank you, just doesn't seem enough.

And the WAITING begins

 

 

 

For the first time since we started the adoption process in April of 2012, we have nothing to do but WAIT!  

Psalms 130:5a  I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope;

 

After 129 days, our dossier is finally complete, copied in triplicate and mailed.  Whew! 

So what do we do from here?  We WAIT!

Psalms 25:21  May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.

 

Bulgaria has to translate our documents before we are officially logged in with their Ministry of Justice. We've been told this should take 3-4 weeks.  So we WAIT!

Isaiah 33:2  O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble.

 

Once we have an official log-in, it is up to their in-country system to match us with a little girl who falls within the age and special needs parameters we outlined in our home study.  Knowing that our agency has to give us the "worst case scenario" on our wait time, we've been told this "could" take up to 18-24 months.  Until then, we  WAIT!

Habakkuk 2:3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

 

Somewhere, on the other side of the world, in an orphanage in Bulgaria, a little girl also WAITS. She WAITS for the love of a mom and a dad. She WAITS for the day when she will no longer have to wonder if she will have another meal.  She WAITS for a time when someone who loves her will wipe away her tears when she cries and laugh with her when she's happy. She WAITS for the necessary medical attention she desperately needs. She WAITS for her forever family.  She WAITS to be introduced to a Heavenly Father who loves her infinitely more than we could imagine. She WAITS!

Isaiah 25:9  It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”



Love BIG!

Step out in FAITH

Wait with HOPE

Love BIG

I Corinthians 13:13

 

 

This past weekend, I had the unexpected and last minute opportunity to join a group of fabulous ladies at the Created for Care conference in Atlanta, GA.  When I was asked if I could step in for a mom whose family had fallen ill, I really had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I just simply thought a weekend away with the girls sounded like a great idea.  It turned out to be so much more.

 

This conference was designed for adoptive mom's and mom's waiting to travel to meet their children.  I had originally thought I would feel out of place, seeing as we haven't been matched yet with our daughter. I was so wrong.  This weekend was packed full of ladies just like me, waiting, uncertain of how the future will play out, seemingly unaware of the difficulty of the days ahead.  How refreshing to know that I am not alone.

 

I just wanted to highlight some of the things I learned while they are still fresh on my mind. 

• In order for me to gain, she has to lose.
• In order for me to love, she has to lose someone who was supposed to love her.
• With great blessing must come brokenness
• It's not about me - it's about her and her story.
• Getting it all right is not my goal. Building relationships in love is what I need to seek.
• Adoption is not always (or even usually) pretty or easy.  So thankful for the honesty on this.
• I am seen by the One who knows my name. (Gen. 16)
• God hears the cry of our children wherever they are.  (Gen. 21)

Over the days and weeks to come, these are some of the things I will be focusing on and reminding myself of as God prepares my heart to love BIG.

 

My new book wish list of things I would like to read:

•  How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath
• The God Who Sees  by Tammy Maltby
• Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt by Leslie Leyland Fields
 
 

 



Paperwork, Preparation and Praises

"How can I keep from singing your praise?

How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love?

How can I keep from shouting your name?

I know I am loved by the King

and it makes my heart want to sing."

 

 



Whohooo, it only took 10 days for us to receive our Notice of approval from the NBC (Depart of Homeland Security). We now have official approval from the US government to adopt from Bulgaria.  Our next step is to gather the final notarizations, county stamps and state apostilles and then our DOSSIER IS COMPLETE.  For those of you who are not familiar with the adoption process, we've been working on this since September 2012, so this is a big deal!

Our agency has told us it will take approximately six weeks to translate all of these documents into a Slavic language spoken in Bulgaria.  Then, everything will be sent to Bulgaria and we'll be official, ready to start seeing some little faces!!!!

 

In the meanwhile, what are we doing to prepare, you might ask?  Well, I'm glad you did!  We belong to  a small group of adoptive and foster families who meet once a month to encourage and support each other. As a group, we are reading through Karen Purvis' book,  The Connected Child. I've only finished chapter 1 so far, so I can't tell you much about it yet, but I've been told she is a wonderful resource on attachment and bonding with your adopted child.   Our agency provided us with a wonderful link to a resource. It's a Bulgarian Phrases for Children cd.  Another family who adopted a child from Bulgaria created it when they weren't able to find any other material for themselves.  It's a great tool that will help us learn her language using common phrases we will need, such as "Are you thirsty?", "Are you hungry?", "I love you." etc.  We're excited about immersing our family into this new language. 

 

A very sudden and unexpected blessing fell into my lap this week.  A friend called and offered me the chance to "assume the identity" of another adoptive mom.  What?  Ok, I'll explain it more.  A group of adoptive moms has been planning a trip to Atlanta for a conference designed  just for them, and about 450 other women. One of the ladies is no longer able to attend due to illness, so I was asked to take her place.  Words cannot express how excited I am to be able to spend the next 2 1/2 days with a group of moms who have already walked the road I am currently walking.  Humbled is the only word that seems adequate to express how blessed I feel that God would drop this into my lap and work out all the details of time off work and finances to cover the cost.  I am looking forward to all that God has for me to learn and absorb as well as the friendships that will be made.

 

So, how I can keep from singing His praise? 

 

 

 

 



 

 



Final Fingerprints (We hope)

If these post seem overly simplistic, I apologize. I am trying to explain things in words and terms someone outside of the adoption world can understand.  Sometimes, we throw around words and assume every knows what they mean.  Well, until we began this process, I had never heard of many of them. Our desire is to help explain adoption from the assumption that you've never heard of them either. With that being said .........
Tomorrow, Kirk and I will be fingerprinted, for the third time in this adoption process. Aparently, each agency requires their very own set our identification markers and each one requires a different form or way of capturing them. 
Tomorrow's appointment is for The Department of Homeland Security. We have to get their "OK" to show we are all-clear and able to complete the adoption process. It will take approximately three weeks to receive the necessary documentation from them. Once we receive that coveted purple form, our dossier will be complete. 
A dossier is a huge stack of required paperwork each international adoption requires.  Included in that ream of paperwork are copies of our birth certificates, our marriage license, medical clearance statements, background checks from every place we've lived, three pages of family photos and our homestudy. Each document has to be notarized, county certified (which means the county office verifies the notary's signature), and appostilled (which is the state's stamp of approval that the county certification is valid).  Whew - that's a lot of stamps and signatures! 
That entire stack of documents, after making multiple sets of copies, will be mailed to our agency for the translation process.  We've been told that process should take around six weeks.  So, from today, we are likely nine weeks away from having all of our documents in the hands of the Bulgarian goverment.  At any point after that, we could begin receiving referrals - a child's file to review for consideration of adoption.
We're getting very excited!

From the Beginning..........

If you are going to understand a story, knowing the background is important.  For this reason, I will try to give you a thorough description of our journey to adoption.   Since before we married in 1997, we knew we wanted to have children.  We had always said, if we had two of one gender, we would try for a third and hope to get the other.  Well, our plans, were just plans and not what God desired, or so we thought.  After two pregnancies filled with complications, we decided attempting a third would be unwise. By 2001, we were content with the two little guys we had to raise and call our own.

Fast forward to 2009, and we'll pick up the story again.   After an in-depth Bible study, we felt God calling our family into international missions.  We felt as though we were ready to say "yes" to this new opportunity.  In preparation, we researched full-time mission opportunities within our church community as well as short term trips.  In January of 2010,  we had the incredible chance to spend ten days in Jamaica, in a remote village in the center of the island.  Even through this, we assumed God was leading us toward mission work. We watched as our boys gave all of themselves, everyday, in whatever way they could.  We were in awe of how God would choose to use our family for His glory. After returning home and researching more, we seem to continually hit dead ends.  Each time we followed a lead, it would fizzled out and we found ourselves frustrated. Why wasn't God putting us on a fast-track to some remote group of people who had never heard his name.  After all, we had already said we were willing to go. Arrogance on our part because these were our plans.

Toward the end of 2011, after reading a newspaper article on Haitian orphanages, we felt God tugging on our hearts again.  At first, only the husband was on board, sensing God wasn't asking us to go to a mission field, but instead, we were to bring that mission field home.  I will admit, I wasn't really buying into the idea.  First, God hadn't placed that burden on my heart, not yet anyway. Second, we were finally able to go out, without kids, and not have to hire a babysitter. Third, how would we pay on our current budget?  You get the idea, I had many questions and reasons why this wasn't God's plan.  In the end, God brought me to realize that He placed my husband as the head our house and I needed to trust him, even when I didn't understand.  So, I said "yes".  Since then, I have grown to embrace the journey of our adoption and fall in love with a little girl whose face I have yet to see. 

Where are we now?  We have chosen our agency, completed our home study and at least a ream of paperwork necessary for our dossier.  We are waiting to be fingerprinted for the third time, yes, the third time.  Each agency requires their own and no one seems to like to share.  Once we get our clearance on this set of fingerprints, we can send all our documents to be translated for Bulgaria and be officially logged-in with them.  At that point, we will be able to see the faces of precious little ones who are in need a forever family and find the one God has already chosen to be our daughter.