Love BIG!

Step out in FAITH

Wait with HOPE

Love BIG

I Corinthians 13:13

 

 

This past weekend, I had the unexpected and last minute opportunity to join a group of fabulous ladies at the Created for Care conference in Atlanta, GA.  When I was asked if I could step in for a mom whose family had fallen ill, I really had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I just simply thought a weekend away with the girls sounded like a great idea.  It turned out to be so much more.

 

This conference was designed for adoptive mom's and mom's waiting to travel to meet their children.  I had originally thought I would feel out of place, seeing as we haven't been matched yet with our daughter. I was so wrong.  This weekend was packed full of ladies just like me, waiting, uncertain of how the future will play out, seemingly unaware of the difficulty of the days ahead.  How refreshing to know that I am not alone.

 

I just wanted to highlight some of the things I learned while they are still fresh on my mind. 

• In order for me to gain, she has to lose.
• In order for me to love, she has to lose someone who was supposed to love her.
• With great blessing must come brokenness
• It's not about me - it's about her and her story.
• Getting it all right is not my goal. Building relationships in love is what I need to seek.
• Adoption is not always (or even usually) pretty or easy.  So thankful for the honesty on this.
• I am seen by the One who knows my name. (Gen. 16)
• God hears the cry of our children wherever they are.  (Gen. 21)

Over the days and weeks to come, these are some of the things I will be focusing on and reminding myself of as God prepares my heart to love BIG.

 

My new book wish list of things I would like to read:

•  How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath
• The God Who Sees  by Tammy Maltby
• Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt by Leslie Leyland Fields
 
 

 



Paperwork, Preparation and Praises

"How can I keep from singing your praise?

How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love?

How can I keep from shouting your name?

I know I am loved by the King

and it makes my heart want to sing."

 

 



Whohooo, it only took 10 days for us to receive our Notice of approval from the NBC (Depart of Homeland Security). We now have official approval from the US government to adopt from Bulgaria.  Our next step is to gather the final notarizations, county stamps and state apostilles and then our DOSSIER IS COMPLETE.  For those of you who are not familiar with the adoption process, we've been working on this since September 2012, so this is a big deal!

Our agency has told us it will take approximately six weeks to translate all of these documents into a Slavic language spoken in Bulgaria.  Then, everything will be sent to Bulgaria and we'll be official, ready to start seeing some little faces!!!!

 

In the meanwhile, what are we doing to prepare, you might ask?  Well, I'm glad you did!  We belong to  a small group of adoptive and foster families who meet once a month to encourage and support each other. As a group, we are reading through Karen Purvis' book,  The Connected Child. I've only finished chapter 1 so far, so I can't tell you much about it yet, but I've been told she is a wonderful resource on attachment and bonding with your adopted child.   Our agency provided us with a wonderful link to a resource. It's a Bulgarian Phrases for Children cd.  Another family who adopted a child from Bulgaria created it when they weren't able to find any other material for themselves.  It's a great tool that will help us learn her language using common phrases we will need, such as "Are you thirsty?", "Are you hungry?", "I love you." etc.  We're excited about immersing our family into this new language. 

 

A very sudden and unexpected blessing fell into my lap this week.  A friend called and offered me the chance to "assume the identity" of another adoptive mom.  What?  Ok, I'll explain it more.  A group of adoptive moms has been planning a trip to Atlanta for a conference designed  just for them, and about 450 other women. One of the ladies is no longer able to attend due to illness, so I was asked to take her place.  Words cannot express how excited I am to be able to spend the next 2 1/2 days with a group of moms who have already walked the road I am currently walking.  Humbled is the only word that seems adequate to express how blessed I feel that God would drop this into my lap and work out all the details of time off work and finances to cover the cost.  I am looking forward to all that God has for me to learn and absorb as well as the friendships that will be made.

 

So, how I can keep from singing His praise? 

 

 

 

 



 

 



Final Fingerprints (We hope)

If these post seem overly simplistic, I apologize. I am trying to explain things in words and terms someone outside of the adoption world can understand.  Sometimes, we throw around words and assume every knows what they mean.  Well, until we began this process, I had never heard of many of them. Our desire is to help explain adoption from the assumption that you've never heard of them either. With that being said .........
Tomorrow, Kirk and I will be fingerprinted, for the third time in this adoption process. Aparently, each agency requires their very own set our identification markers and each one requires a different form or way of capturing them. 
Tomorrow's appointment is for The Department of Homeland Security. We have to get their "OK" to show we are all-clear and able to complete the adoption process. It will take approximately three weeks to receive the necessary documentation from them. Once we receive that coveted purple form, our dossier will be complete. 
A dossier is a huge stack of required paperwork each international adoption requires.  Included in that ream of paperwork are copies of our birth certificates, our marriage license, medical clearance statements, background checks from every place we've lived, three pages of family photos and our homestudy. Each document has to be notarized, county certified (which means the county office verifies the notary's signature), and appostilled (which is the state's stamp of approval that the county certification is valid).  Whew - that's a lot of stamps and signatures! 
That entire stack of documents, after making multiple sets of copies, will be mailed to our agency for the translation process.  We've been told that process should take around six weeks.  So, from today, we are likely nine weeks away from having all of our documents in the hands of the Bulgarian goverment.  At any point after that, we could begin receiving referrals - a child's file to review for consideration of adoption.
We're getting very excited!

From the Beginning..........

If you are going to understand a story, knowing the background is important.  For this reason, I will try to give you a thorough description of our journey to adoption.   Since before we married in 1997, we knew we wanted to have children.  We had always said, if we had two of one gender, we would try for a third and hope to get the other.  Well, our plans, were just plans and not what God desired, or so we thought.  After two pregnancies filled with complications, we decided attempting a third would be unwise. By 2001, we were content with the two little guys we had to raise and call our own.

Fast forward to 2009, and we'll pick up the story again.   After an in-depth Bible study, we felt God calling our family into international missions.  We felt as though we were ready to say "yes" to this new opportunity.  In preparation, we researched full-time mission opportunities within our church community as well as short term trips.  In January of 2010,  we had the incredible chance to spend ten days in Jamaica, in a remote village in the center of the island.  Even through this, we assumed God was leading us toward mission work. We watched as our boys gave all of themselves, everyday, in whatever way they could.  We were in awe of how God would choose to use our family for His glory. After returning home and researching more, we seem to continually hit dead ends.  Each time we followed a lead, it would fizzled out and we found ourselves frustrated. Why wasn't God putting us on a fast-track to some remote group of people who had never heard his name.  After all, we had already said we were willing to go. Arrogance on our part because these were our plans.

Toward the end of 2011, after reading a newspaper article on Haitian orphanages, we felt God tugging on our hearts again.  At first, only the husband was on board, sensing God wasn't asking us to go to a mission field, but instead, we were to bring that mission field home.  I will admit, I wasn't really buying into the idea.  First, God hadn't placed that burden on my heart, not yet anyway. Second, we were finally able to go out, without kids, and not have to hire a babysitter. Third, how would we pay on our current budget?  You get the idea, I had many questions and reasons why this wasn't God's plan.  In the end, God brought me to realize that He placed my husband as the head our house and I needed to trust him, even when I didn't understand.  So, I said "yes".  Since then, I have grown to embrace the journey of our adoption and fall in love with a little girl whose face I have yet to see. 

Where are we now?  We have chosen our agency, completed our home study and at least a ream of paperwork necessary for our dossier.  We are waiting to be fingerprinted for the third time, yes, the third time.  Each agency requires their own and no one seems to like to share.  Once we get our clearance on this set of fingerprints, we can send all our documents to be translated for Bulgaria and be officially logged-in with them.  At that point, we will be able to see the faces of precious little ones who are in need a forever family and find the one God has already chosen to be our daughter.